Next week is the last week of school!

The dreaded third term is finally coming to an end, and unfortunately, the school has decided to cram every assessment in the last few weeks, again. Today i had my GMA(maths) test and finished my English essay, which is 8 days overdue. So right now i am very proud of myself^^. i also did housework and made the kitchen actually look presentable, a feat i previously thought impossible. The hard thing is with the dishes and the sink. Since washing dishes is supposed to be my brother's duty, and Mr. i-am-so-busy-with-uni can't bother to even touch the sink, i had the task of cleaning up a five-days build up of dirty cuttlery. Obviously i am a novice at housework and it took me 2 hours to wash, sort and dry everything. So that was today, just a lot of work and no fun, which is a typical day for me recently.
You think that after two weeks of no posting and limited net-surfing i come up with some interesting stories... but so turns out that this is how i passed most of the days.

Oh i can't wait till my parents come back from Taiwan! I am so lonely i kept feeling that even if i died no one will care. One morning last week, i was sick, and just couldn't bring myself up for school. I woke up at 9:30 and got dressed. There was no one in the house, only the brushes of thin branches on the window stir the silence. I walked slowly to school and the whole street was deserted. Houses on the street were so quiet and lifeless without their master, i felt i was being drawn in to their motionless march and become a immobile statue myself! The silence trailed me on my entire journey like a ghost. It was such a strange experience, it felt like i owned the world, but i've also been discarded by the world. The lonliness was genuinely scary. Has anyone had that feeling before?

So here i am, saying stuff that i never dreamed i'll say. I miss my mum so much!
I never realised we've been that close before, not before she went away two weeks ago. Thinking now, she's been more of a friend than a mother to me these days. We actually talk more than when i was little. Maybe that's because i am so pathetic that i can't find any friends of my own age><, but i like to think that it was to my mum's credit that we've become closer.
parents... it's always when you need them you remember their goods-.-


from an isolated and dislocated panda, wishing someone could be with me right now

To those wondering why i haven't posted in such as long time.... well, i've had a really busy week, and as of Sunday, been struck down by the dreaded allergy that seem to have swept Melbourne. Half the people in my class were sick on monday, and a handful were missing because they were too sick to come to school. Today i wasn't able to go to school as well, i slept luxuriously till 10am and found that my whole body was slippery and wet like a biscuit dipped into cream. Apparently i've sweat so much after burning up my whole blanket was wet.
A short visit to the doctor confirmed that i've been attacked by virus and short recovery seemed unlikely.

I missed both my chinese assessment and my violin competition! i can't believe i couldn't go to school today, of all days, i just have to be deathly sick today.... on the bright side, i get a precious day off and actually found time to blog~ It just means that i have to do my assessment some other time, which i hate, because i rather have it done and over with, now i have to wait another painful two days before i could do it.

what was the most important thing that happened last week? well it had to be the formal! at least it was the most expected. Last saturday i was invited to the mlc formal ( melbourne-mlc!) now just thinking back... maybe that's where i got my sickness from-.-
I guess overall i had a good time. There were moments when i was really nervous, that was more at the begining, when i went to the before-party. I've never heard of a before-party until last saturday as well, so don't feel confused if you don't know what i am talking about. It was just like a normal party, i guess, but really awkard because i hardly knew anyone and i was scared off my wits! My partner, Mariam, being asian, i thought, her friends would mostly be asian as well, but at the party there were only australian people, all except us two, not that i minded, but it's just that it made the evening more intimidating to start with.

It was also a time where cameras were abundant. The parents were not gonna miss the chance when their childern is all nicely dressed-up, and so, my eyes were flashed until i am sure there was some permanent damage done. One of the mums just wouldn't stop taking photos! i got so annoyed and embarrased, well, at least she had the curtesy of telling me before she took a photo, unlike.... someone else, (R**) The party place was the house of one of the friends, and it looked like an 18th century british upper class resort. the carpet and the ceiling were extensively decorated with gold linings. Three paintings of the country side hung on the wall, and the furnitures were so delicate you feel sorry to use them. I spent most of my time talking not with my partner, not with her friends, but her mum! Please don't go thinking off a tangent at this point, this only happened because everybody else knew everybody, and they were busy talking among themselves. i was hiding behind my partner most of the time, and since i was the only one who speak chinese, her mum(being chinese-malay) decided to bombard me with a series of questions.

finally, we departed for the formal. There was no limo, but a party bus in its stead. Mariam said they decided it was too expensive to hire a limo, and they will only get one for the year 12 formal, which, according to the girls, is the "formal" formal. anyway, we arrived at Albert Park just on time to catch the massive que that was lining up. I saw a lot of people from my school, mostly australians again, i think all the asian guys went to the PLC or Canterbury girl's formal which were both held on the same day. i was thourougly searched, and glad that the security guys didn't pad my bum like he did with the previous guy. David Gormans tried to smuggle some drinks, but the guy was about to catch him, so he threw them into the bush! i wonder if he retreived them after the formal.

the hall was big. there were 52 tables plus a dancing floor. it was comfortable enough when people are sitting down, but when everyone's running around greeting each other it gets a little crowded, and there was a long line for professional photos. i took three, i think, hopefully they will come in a week or two. Just to answer someone's statement, i don't think the melbourne mlc is that asian dominated, from what i've observed. There were mostly australians, only one or two asian tables. Some of the girls were so tall, that even without heels they are half a head taller than me. It is just me, or they all seem really, really mature? like they are twenty-something. Maybe it's to do with the make-up. The food was ok, not great, but just ok, there really wasn't enough, and some people still couldn't finish!( most of the girls) so i fed myself full on chocolate cake and soft drink. By the way, this is the only photo i took the entire night.


i didn't take more photos because of two reasons, one, i was already traumatised by cameras at the before party and i don't know most of the people there so it seemed awkward to take pictures with them. Secondly, people already took pictures with me in it, so i don't think it was necessary to repeat the process on my camera.







I was a little disappointed with mariam, because she did exactly what i hoped she wouldn't do, that is, leave her partner alone on the table and go off to chat to her friends, maybe she found me uninteresting or something...-.- and for the early part of the night i was hunting her like a mad paparazzi. She did invite me to dance later on, and that was fun, i wasn't too shy at all, and i effectively shattered what ever image i've built up over the years.

The highlight of the night was when people did break-dancing, we made a circle around the dance floor, and the DJ putted on some techno music, and we shuffed people who look like they could break-dance onto the dance floor. Someone was actually doing the hand-stand and the wheels, which was really cool, but i think he probably ruined his suit doing it^^


and so this is the long rambling post after a week and a half without msn nor blogging. i am going be a nerd and do some study. See ya all

panda

today i realise that blogging is very useful when you want to talk to people, but haven't got the time or mood for msn and can't be bothered writing e-mails.... speaking of which, i owe alot of people e-mails... >< sorry to people who haven't heard from me in a while~ i am ok, just very busy la~

Sunday has officially become my study day.

I did math problems this moring. This afternoon i went to tuition and did more math problems. I went home and watched T.V for a while, and at night i did the rest of my math problems. Ok, maybe sunday's more of a math day, but my point being, there's just no spare time on sunday anymore! What ever happened to looking forward to weekends? Even my dad said i am always studying on a sunday.... well, what else could you do when you've got assessments coming up almost everyweek?-.- ...damn it, my posts are begin to be filled with complains and negative feelings, which is only a PORTION of my mood swings. Actually, i feel pretty happy today, don't know why, just is^^. It's like my RE teacher said, you don't need a reason to be happy. I guess i am just feel good that i got some study done today, and for once i am in control of my life and not panicing about tomorrow.

lots of stuff happened last week and the week before which i didn't have time to write about. Firstly two weeks ago i went to the melbourne zoo, on a cold damp morning. I loved zoos. I think i 've always had an interest for animals and nature. Which is probably the result of watching discovery channel with mum when i was little. There were some renovations going on so i wasn't able to see all the animals, plus i didn't have the time anyway, so it's see you next time for elephants, rhinos zebras and giraffes, who i am sure would have missed their little asian visitor. The highlight of the day was the meerkats. They are so active! the way they move you think that they are carrying on a major construction or preparing for a concert, there's a sense of excitement and anticipation. this is great contrast to the rest of the animals at zoo, which were either eathing or practicing staring into empty space. oh, and i also got the chance to see a red panda, which sadly, is not a real panda, but more closely related to a racoon. but i rather througt it looked like a monkey looking bear, or a bear looking monkey.
it's not very clear... but it was the best i could do without flash, because the window reflects all the light.



anyway, the day was good, and the only spoil was the food. I thought the popcorns at the cinema is the biggest rip-off ever, but the zoo canteen just redefined what robbery means. A burger for 7 dollars and chips for 5 dollars sucked the life out of my wallet, which will take some weeks to recover.

i guess what i really learnt about at the zoo was the conservational status of many endangered species. I find it horryfing that most of the animals we see will be extinct, with certainty, in the next dozen of years. Most of them don't have enough numbers to breed, or just have such a limited gene pool they will eventually die out because of incestial breeding. There's so little we could do, i mean, every now and then, someone post an issue about it in the paper, but it's soon forgotten when the next election rolls over, or some idiot makes a scene in the public. *sigh... well, i guess it's a pretty tough world we live in, everyone spends their day worrying about themselves, take a quick glance on those around them in spare time and move on.


damn, i became so melancholy again... maybe it's just the way my blogging goes.

Panda-critically endangered specie as last decided by the World Conservation
12 weeks and a half before the final VCE exams

allright, i've neglected this blog for long enough, it's time to get some writing done.

i was standing at the gates of the school one afternoon, suddenly realising that there isn't a lot of time left for me in high school. Looking at the concrete wall of M block with bits of graffiti which the careless cleaner had left to stain. Could it be that one day i will think back and miss the time i've had in this place? I remember when i was first attending year 5, and everyday when i sat in the car on the way to school, i'd secertely pray that it will burn down before i get there. Now i am so familiar with it i don't know what life will be without it.
Yes, perhaps a few years on, when i am fully grown i'll come to appreciate the times i've had at school...
maybe i am being over-sensitive... because all the friends i've talked to either never thought about this, or they "don't give a damn", maybe it's because most of them never left to live in another country, so they haven't had those emotional experiences before. Maybe they hate the school so much they are happy to leave ; maybe that's why they made life so painful in year 11 and 12 so people won't feel sad when they leave school. Either way, i think most people will eventually come to miss their teenage years. If you think about life in the long run, this could be the best part of it.
lol... this sounds like something i should write at the end of year 12, not in the middle of year 11, but it came up to my mind for some reason, so i'll just note in down.

Last week's been eventful, with surprises both pleasant and unpleasant. To start with, i got my first ever major detention in senior school... (which is not a part of school i think i will miss) and not surprisingly, it was from chinese. I am tired of describing my chinese teacher. Just imagine your parents at their most exhausting, stubborn and annoying state and that would be her in a good mood. Apparently, she was NOT in a good mood on wednesday morning when i had my lesson. She gave us an essay to do the day before, and expected us to hand it in by the next(which is arguably a short time). Now i maintain to this moment that i would with every possiblity, complete the work even with such a short amount of time given that i had at least one hour. But on tuesday i simply did not have that luxury. There was sports training in the afternoon, and violin lesson at night. After which it was already 10pm.
A normal person could see that i should get at least one day extention, right?
I tried to tell her that, but the result was detention next thursday afternoon.
the only consolation being there are five other people who were similarly reprimanded, just to prove that i was not the only one finding it difficult to finish the essay.
now that i am despondent enough, i don't feel like writing anymore, maybe i'll write some more tomorrow. It's getting late

wish everyone well, and perth and uni people a good start to the new term
from a distressed panda

Me so tired

argh... when i had the inspiration to blog i had no time... and when time's abundant my brain's dry.

I am actually not looking forwards to weekends anymore; this has never happened before in my life. Usually my entire school week was endurable because of expectation of the two days rest after Friday, but since the beginning of this year, i am so busy catching up on work on weekends, there's just been no time to rest. Better readjust my timetable to find some sort of acceptable working pattern before i die of stress attack by the end of the year-.-

talking about stress... here's a little comic relief i found. Anyone whose familiar with sesame street should like this^^

Cookie moster searches deep within himself and asks: is me really monster?

Me know. me have problem.

me love cookies. me tend to get out of control when me see cookies. me know it not natural to react so strongly to cookies, but me have weakness. me know me do wrong. me know it isn't normal. me see disapproving looks. me see stares. me hurt inside.

when me get back to apartment, after cookie binge, me can't stand looking in mirror-fur matted with chocolate-chip smears and infested with crumbs. me try but me never able to wash all of them out. me don't think me is monster. me just furry blue person who love cookies too much.

me no ask for it. me just born that way.

me was thinking and me just don't get it. why is me a monster? no one else called monster on sesame street. well, no one who isn't really monster. two-headed monster have two heads, so he real monster. Herry monster strong and look angry, so he probably real monster, too. but is me really monster?

Me thinks me have serious problem. me thinks me addicted. but since when it acceptable to call addict monster? it affliction. it disease. it burden. but does it make me monster?

How can they be so callous? me know there something wrong with me, but who in sesame street doesn't suffer from mental disease or psychological disorder? they don't call the vampire with math fetish monster, and me pretty sure he undead and drinks blood. no one calls grover monster, despite frequent delusional episodes and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. And the obnoxious red grover--oh, what his name?--elmo! yes, elmo live all day in imaginary world and no one call him monster. No, they think he cute. and Big Bird! don't get me started on Big Bird! He unnaturally gigantic talking canary! how is that not monster? Snuffleupagus not supposed to exist-woolly mammoths extinct. his very existence monstrous. me least like monster. me maybe have unhealthy obsession, but me no monster.

no. me wrong. me too hard on self. me no have unhealthy obsession. me love cookies, but it no hurt anyone. me just enthusiast. everyone has something they like most, something they get excited about. why not me? me perfectly normal. me like cookies. so what? cookies delicious. Cookies do not make one monster. everyone loves cookies.

me no monster. me ok guy. me ok guy who eat cookies.

who me kidding? me know me never actually eat cookies. me only crumble cookies in mouth, but me no swallow. me can't swallow. me no have no esophagus. me no have no trachea. me only have black fabric throat. me not supposed to be able to even talk.

me no eat cookies

me destroy cookies

me crush cookies

me mutilate cookies

me make it so no one get cookies

everyone right. me really is cookie monster.

lol.... believe it or not, this was actually the essay we studied in my literature class a week ago... let's just say it was a pretty unususal /fun lesson^^

ok, me tired now

me go to sleep

night~

panda

Macneil won.

we won, we won, we won we won!

yes, that was one of the best moments in my life. Winning the house music. It's always the greatest feeling when you are the underdog and not expected to win, but thanks to another biased adjudicator Macneil get to take the trophy home this year.
This is always my favourite house event all year. Not only do you get to sing, but you won't feel embarrassed about it because 300 other people are singing just as bad as you. Still the competition is pretty tight and it's just breath-taking listening to the score being annouced. The whole school gets so into it.
Derham house always had the best preparation, it's just pure bad luck that they came runner-up three years in a row. Which is kind of cruel...considering their conductor killed himself putting on an incredibly dramatic performance. (we love you Webley!)
I can never understand how they adjudicate these things... take our part song for instance... we were singing ok at the start, then the audience started laughing because the song was so silly and childish(the song was twelve days of chirstmas!) well, that put us off for a second and we left out an entire line. On second thought... even if the audience didn't laught we probably would still forget the line. anyway, there was just this massive silence while the piano was playing, and we sort of humed and whimpered until we could remember the next line.
It was an obvious mistake and everyone heard it. As a result, we came first in the part-songs.
ah well... it's a school competition, it's not suppose to make sense. I am just happy enough to win.
By the way, i was standing in the middle of the front row when we sang, maybe that had something to do with it? ^^

Besides the music the week's been pretty hectic(school life... it's exhaustive), msn was negative and my social life shrank like a deflating balloon. How is everyone? I've been to albert's blog and read his summary on life in perth~ which sounded fantastic. But no one else seemed to have the time to update their blog... including me, up till now.

well, hope you guys are happy and enjoying yourselves... i am gonna relish my own happy moments for as long as they last.

panda

Between the suffocating grasps of homework and violin practice i am surprised i actually got time today to blog... well, i think if i make a commitment to it once a week maybe then i could sustain this webpage for a while, unlike the other time when i tried to keep a diary... which lasted for a pathetic duration of 72 hours.

lately, something has been bothering me, and it's not the fact that i still have 60 chinese general conversation questions overdue, but my mum's recent attitude towards... certain things.
Ok i understand being a mum she is supposed to be paranoid about her children and constantly giving lectures at the slightest sight of misconduct. Being a wise adult(which sometimes seemed seriuosly doubtful) she probably know what's best for me.
So, i don't understand, why for god's sake, that everytime she sees me talking, or even walking with members of the opposite sex she assumes that i am trying to date that person. One of my friends said to me the other day that "all guys go out with girls with ulterior motives" now, i don't argue that some guys do think like that, but i am sure that many others don't take such a sexist stance. I like to think i belong to the latter catagory; boys and girls are the same, you don't need a romantic relationship between opposite sex, but can still be friends with each other.
That is why i am getting excruciating annoyed every now and again when mum inquires about my friends. If i mentioned that "she" is a girl, then follows a string of probing questions like : is she good looking? where does she live? what school does she go to? what's her family background?
sigh... seems like my mum wanted to know the marriageability of every girl i know... now i am forced to develop evasive technics to avoid her question bombardment for the sake of my sanity.
Luckily last week she accidentally saw a picture of my brother's party, where he was sitting suggestively next to a "female" friend. So, while mum is distracted by her shocking discovery, i can take sometime to rest and brace for nine weeks of school ahead.

panda